Holiday Caregiving Challenges

November 4, 2010 by Alzheimer's Speaks

Check out the guest article I wrote for Roshini Rajkumar, entitled “Holiday Caregiving Challenges.”? Here is the link

?http://www.roshinimedia.com/blog/

The Roshini?Performance Group, and they?are dedicated?to empowering individuals?and organizations to communicate powerfully in their most dynamic and authentic voice. If you are looking for one on one coaching or a fantastic energizing Keynoter, Roshini won’t let you down.? She is amazing.? Here is a link to her site.

http://www.roshinimedia.com/

Posted in Alzheimer's Speaks Resource Website, Caregiver, Dementia, Denial, Find Opportunities within an Obstacle, Grief, Guilt, Hospice, Living with Alzheimer's disease, Sandwich Generation, Simple Pleasures, Speaker on Alzheimer's disease, Speaker on Caregiving, adult children, aging, alzheimer's disease, alzheimers, caregiving, caring for edlerly, caring for loved ones, caring for parents, elderly, gift ideas, loss, memory care, memory loss, nursing home, old, parenting parents, seniors | Leave a Comment

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Calling Elders by Preferred Name is Important To Caregiving Bond

Calling Elders by Preferred Name is Important To Caregiving Bond (Minding Our Elders®)Minding Our Elders®Breaking the Isolation: Information and Support for Caregivers and Seniors by Author, Columnist, Consultant and Speaker Carol Bradley BursackHomeArchivesSubscribeInterested In Sponsorship? Email CarolBulk Book Orders for "Minding Our Elders: Caregivers Share Their Personal Stories?" Email Carol MEDIA GUIDE CLICK HERE
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Tuesday, October 12, 2010Calling Elders by Preferred Name is Important To Caregiving Bond

Dear Carol: My mother is in a nursing home. She has mid-stage dementia. The home is great in most ways, but I wish the whole staff could learn that she responds best to Maggie, not her given name of Margaret. The name on the door says Margaret. Any suggestions about getting the staff to use her nickname? Bruce

Dear Bruce: Modern nursing homes are training staff to use respectful names for the elders, rather than names which some find demeaning, such as “honey” and “dear.” That is good in many ways, as elders need to feel respected, and many aren’t used to younger people calling them by their first names let alone a nickname or endearment of any kind.

Read more about nicknames and what to call an elder who is in a home:

Find care agencies to help you care for your loved one:

Read caregiver's stories:

Posted on Tuesday, October 12, 2010 at 01:01 AM in Aging, Alzheimer's, caregiving, Reflections, Tips for Caregivers | Permalink

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Caregiving Can Be a Challenge

October 4, 2010 by Alzheimer's Speaks

Caregiving is challenging no matter what side of Care you are on – Giving or Receiving.

I learned early on as a Caregiver when I perceived my role as a “Fix It Person,” my To Do list became a competitive game.? This attitude created a Win/Lose situation, and it was driven by my need to control things.

Today I approach my Caregiving?“To Do List” with flexibility.? I assess?three things before I proceed?with any task.? Those three things are:? is the person I am providing care to 1) Safe, 2) Pain-free, and 3) Happy.? If so, I move forward with my tasks in the order of my priorities.? If not, I make some adjustments to make sure I can say “yes” to those three items.? Once I know my person is Safe, Pain-free, and Happy; I review my checklist knowing it is ok to reprioritize. I accept some things may not get completed how, when, or where I thought they would.? I have found these three words help me stay focused on what’s truly important. ?It’s not about me feeling in control.? It’s about Good Care!? Funny thing is, when I am more flexible in my Caregiving Role, I am less stressed and feel more in control.

To get a tool which can help you stay on track when caring for another, go to the Resource Website Alzheimer’s Speaks and get Your Memory Chip?.? It’s free, just click on the star burst on the home page and order yours today.? Http://www.AlzheimersSpeaks.com

Lori La Bey of Senior Lifestyle Trends

Posted in Caregiver, Dementia, Denial, Find Opportunities within an Obstacle, Grief, Guilt, Hospice, Sandwich Generation, Simple Pleasures, adult children, aging, alzheimer's disease, alzheimers, caregiving, caring for edlerly, caring for loved ones, caring for parents, elderly, gift ideas, loss, memory care, memory loss, nursing home, old, parenting parents, seniors | Tagged hospice, pallative, control, stress, time management | 6 Comments

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Blame the disease, not the person, when caregiving gets frustrating

A while back Jewels wrote a bit about her caregiving role. She said she's caring for someone who "wakes up cloudy about what happened or who he talked to yesterday...", and that she "has to remind herself that this disease is not who she cares for, but something the person with dementia has to deal with." I think I know what Jewels was trying to say and I have another perspective that can be helpful.

The anger, frustration and impatience you often feel as a caregiver is normal and you've every right to own those feelings. Yet when you fully accept Alzheimer's or a similar dementia, you can begin to separate the disease from the person and the person from the behaviors. If you're able to do this, you can move toward knowing that the real truth is this: It's not the person you love with dementia that you're angry or frustrated with, it's the disease.

Each of you in a caregiving role can have feelings of anger, frustration, impatience or resentment. But when you place the blame where it belongs — which is on the disease and not on the person — healing can take place. And by accepting that you can't change the person with the disease, you can gently and with compassion transform yourself.

Please share your thoughts and experiences.

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Alzheimer's: Strategies for dementia caregiving

This summer's Greater Iowa Chapter Alzheimer's Association newsletter had a piece titled, "Ten real-life strategies for dementia caregiving." I like the piece and want to share a few of them with you, plus one of my own.

Being reasonable, rational and logical will just get you into trouble.
When someone is acting in ways that don't make sense, we tend to carefully explain the situation, calling on his or her sense of appropriateness to get compliance. However, the person with dementia doesn't have a "boss" in his brain any longer, so he doesn't respond to our arguments, no matter how logical. Straightforward, simple sentences about what's going to happen are usually the best.

Therapeutic communication reduces stress.
We tend to be meticulously honest with people. However, when someone has dementia, excessive details may lead to distress, for both them and the caregiver. Does it really matter that your loved one thinks she's the volunteer at the day care center? Is it OK to tell your loved one that the two of you are going out to lunch and then "coincidentally" stop by the doctor's office on the way home to pick something up as a way to get her to the doctor?

It's perfectly normal to question the diagnosis when someone has moments of lucidity.
One of the hardest things to do is remember that we are responding to a disease, not the person. Everyone with dementia has times when they make perfect sense and can respond appropriately. We often feel like that person has been faking it or that we've been exaggerating the problem when these moments occur. We're not imagining things; they're just having one of those moments to be treasured when they occur.

Offering a sense of control goes a long way.
All of us want to feel like we're in control of our own lives and have the capability to make our own choices. This doesn't change when someone has dementia — even the later stages of Alzheimer's disease. Although somebody with advanced Alzheimer's disease is no longer capable of maintaining the independence and choice they once had, we have the opportunity to offer them at least an "illusion of control". For example, instead of saying, "I want you to take a bath now" you could say, "I know how much you love taking a bath on Sunday evenings, thank you for letting me help you out."

The advice I often give caregivers is to communicate with words, tone and body language that can most often generate reassurance and a sense of contentment.? When we communicate in this way, we're letting go of our own need to control a disease which we simply cannot.

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