“Silent Voice’s”… and Alzheimer’s Disease

November 6, 2010 by Alzheimer's Speaks

Norm McNamara

I just received from one of our readers, Norm McNamara,?this beautiful poem called “Silent?Voice’s”?and wanted to share it with you.??This poem has also made an impression?on me.? It is time to have a?poetry section?on the Alzheimer’s Speaks Resource Website.? If you have a poem regarding?your journey with dementia please submit via comments on this blog?and I will also add it to the resource website to share with others.? The site URL to the resource website is:

?www.AlzheimersSpeaks.com?

Now here is Norms Poem:

Silent Voice’s

By Norm McNamara

Silent voices shouting everywhere

Silent, yet still rising through the air,

Eyes that look but do not see,

Beating heart inside of me,

Forever wanting their life back,

No more wandering this lonely track,

To talk, to laugh, be understood,

To live their lives as they should,

One year there, next year gone,

Like the setting of the sun,

The Dementia Demon comes along,

Takes away your favorite song,

I have all this yet to come,

Vacant stare, body numb,

But to the end and from the start,

Place your hand around my heart,

Feel it beat inside of me,

Look in my eyes and you will see,

Happy scenes without a tear,

And my silent voice you will hear

Here? is your chance to meet Norm and learn a bit more about his journey with Alzheimer’s disease.? I think you will find this interview with BBC Radio Devon very interesting.? It is?about a drug that has worked wonders for him inearly stages.? Please take the time to watch.?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aWTkWACwFWw

Posted in Alzheimer's Speaks Resource Website, Caregiver, Dementia, Find Opportunities within an Obstacle, Grief, Guilt, Hospice, Living with Alzheimer's disease, Sandwich Generation, Simple Pleasures, Speaker on Alzheimer's disease, Speaker on Caregiving, adult children, aging, alzheimer's disease, alzheimers, caregiving, caring for edlerly, caring for loved ones, caring for parents, elderly, gift ideas, loss, memory care, memory loss, nursing home, old, parenting parents, seniors | Tagged Lori La Bey, Norm McNamara, Alzheimer's Speaks | 2 Comments

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Blame the disease, not the person, when caregiving gets frustrating

A while back Jewels wrote a bit about her caregiving role. She said she's caring for someone who "wakes up cloudy about what happened or who he talked to yesterday...", and that she "has to remind herself that this disease is not who she cares for, but something the person with dementia has to deal with." I think I know what Jewels was trying to say and I have another perspective that can be helpful.

The anger, frustration and impatience you often feel as a caregiver is normal and you've every right to own those feelings. Yet when you fully accept Alzheimer's or a similar dementia, you can begin to separate the disease from the person and the person from the behaviors. If you're able to do this, you can move toward knowing that the real truth is this: It's not the person you love with dementia that you're angry or frustrated with, it's the disease.

Each of you in a caregiving role can have feelings of anger, frustration, impatience or resentment. But when you place the blame where it belongs — which is on the disease and not on the person — healing can take place. And by accepting that you can't change the person with the disease, you can gently and with compassion transform yourself.

Please share your thoughts and experiences.

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